Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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