hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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