saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
