why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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