I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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