i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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