is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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