I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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