i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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