i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
