I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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