The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
