He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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