I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
