oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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