Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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