I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
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You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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