the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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