Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
