Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize