i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize