There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
