One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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