Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
