Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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