talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
