D3 body, D1 cock
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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