Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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