Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I could make wine with my vomit
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
