We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
