I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
