Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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