he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
