K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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