i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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