thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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