no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
