She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
