did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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