So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
