No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize