**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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