Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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