arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
