Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
