Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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