I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
