just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
