"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
