The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize