It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
