I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We named our party play list daddy issues
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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