Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
