Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
