i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
