you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
