I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
