You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
did i just pee glitter
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
