quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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